12 February – Miss

12 February – Miss

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Gosh, I haven’t half missed him this week……
Culminating in a “shared memory” courtesy of facebook today. Sometimes looking back at my facebook memories can be so painful.. yet I want to see what happened in 2010, 11 and 12, for they are years that held him….

My fingers cautiously move across my mobile phone screen.. should I, shouldn’t I ? yes I must .. its a memory I may have forgotten, its a snapshot… a moment in time.. a smile, an unfolding story in my head and my heart that then turn to heartache and pain at the “miss” they now both hold.
Today social media reminded me of a day we now fondly refer to as “Fairy Steps”, a weekend away in Arnside with friends. Today this photo is 4 years old.

Daddy here, snapped with a very cheesy Reuben as we embark on a gorgeous walk. A walk that ended with very cold hands, tears and a hungry tummy. Off piste we were still a good mile away from our cars with a very hungry toddler. Having run out of snacks I recall stopping at a caravan park and knocking on the caretakers door to ask did he have a biscuit or cracker to spare for our boy. He must have thought we were a right rum bunch. Oh how we feasted later and got warm again with a giddy Reuben running around and playing with his Brother and friends. Full to the brim with a very happy tummy.

This morning Isaac shouted me upstairs to assist him in the bathroom…. ” I prayed to Reuben Mummy that I wouldn’t have a stinky poo so I didn’t need to shout you” he said …. ” That was silly wasn’t it .. he’s your Brother.. he isn’t going to help you out with that darling, he’d much rather play a trick on you, especially if it involves poo, what were you thinking” I replied and laughed… how beautiful that he is still a part of our every day … treasured always.

And when Isaac is older and reads this status I am so for it ……

Love my boys to the moon and back and all around the stars that shine brightly

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