17 October – MISSing Reuben every day

17 October – MISSing Reuben every day

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Yesterday I got up and went downstairs, Isaac was dressed and had a bit of telly treat before we left for school. I kissed his head and he smiled and said “Batman”, “No its Mummy” was my reply, at which he sniggered and showed his toothless grin. He has one tooth left in his top gap, dramatically tilted like someone fit for Fagin’s gang.
I visited Reuben’s garden after dropping Isaac off at school. I was disappointed that the gardener’s had sprayed weed killer at the foot of Reuben’s headstone and garden and also all around Reuben’s well kept bench. I had spent a lot of time and money in the Summer, with friends, ensuring that his bench and garden looked just right, and I regularly visit and strim and trim and keep it all just nice. I was disappointed to see that some thoughtlessness had led to his grass now turning a horrible shade of yellow before it becomes straw…….
I visited the garden centre and bought winter poppies, 2 small bushes, an ivy and some turf. When I got to the garden it started to pelt it down. Stubborn as I am, it took me 2 hours to plant, haul and work up there. The spot is so exposed and the rain was coming down so hard that my blue jeans were so sodden they ran into my legs and soil sprayed all across my face and my hair was all over the place. I looked like I was auditioning for the moor scene on “Wuthering height”…. Cathy come home…. I finished and went home to thaw out.
Isaac came in from school via Sarah at 4 and I said ! “Quick, Jammies on!!!” he started laughing… I said “We are going on an adventure”. So we loaded the car with Isaac in his jammies, 2 pillows and a quilt and went to collect his cousin Jacob. As I glanced back when we hit the motorway, my heart sank and I felt a real huge moment of immense sadness and grey. The last time I had looked at Isaac in the back of the car with his quilt, was on that fateful return back from Bristol without Reuben. My youngest had just taken his final breaths in my arms and we were heading home at silly oclock with a quarter of our family missing. Isaac had no idea of my thoughts and smiled back at me with excitement, taking the pain and trauma away.
We collected Jacob, with accompanying plastic plates, forks, buttered bread and kitchen roll and made our way to Blackpool illuminations !!!! whey heyyyyy – who needs Vegas????
As we approached Blackpool Isaac needed a wee… we hadn’t even seen a light yet… he couldn’t wee so then needed the other, so Mike pulled up in a hotel car park and snook into the loo’s with him… oooops!!! On returning to the car, Mike was mad as cheese as poor Isaac had wee’d through the toilet seat all down his jammies – yikes !!!! so he stripped off naked in the car and put his dressing gown and slippers on (lucky we had them!). We then headed for our favourite family chippy to eat fish and chips in the car and couldn’t find it???? Finding an alternative Mike got out to order our hearty supper whilst we waited in the car.
2 mins later whilst he was tucked up waiting for chippy, his car alarm started going off whilst we all sat in the car !!!!! we were locked in and Mike had no idea… this lasted for over 5 minutes and owners of nearby restaurants kept coming out to look to see where the noise was coming from ~ how embarrassing !!!!!!
You will be pleased to know, we parked up, ate our chippy supper and had a lovely time enjoying the lights. Isaac loved it.
There’s one thing for sure…. Im sure Isaac isn’t the first to eat fish and chips naked in Blackpool and I am sure he wont be the last……..
MISSing Reuben every day, especially when the FUN stuff happens

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