19th February – 26 weeks to the day

19th February – 26 weeks to the day

Posted by & filed under Uncategorized.

TEWsday’s are never the best as many of you know, as TEWSday was the day that took Reuben. Today that marked 26 weeks and on Thursday the 21st it will be 6 months to the date. Today was particularly nasty. As Isaac got in the car to be dropped by Sarah’s whilst I worked, I already missed him. He is our rock and I don’t know quite how I would get through it without him. This morning he said, “ Do you love me more than space mummy?” and when I said oh wow! for sure I do.. he said “Do you love me more than the Chinese house in lego ninjago”… aren’t children so very wonderful. And its when they get hurt that we hurt the most. Their innocence is wonderful and we were all there once… Reuben, with his chocolate button big brown eyes and his gurning cheesy grin was full of wholesome innocence with the sweetest of centres.. even at his poorliest he never complained…he had all the world to grow in. Why him? Why us? My grief was bitter today and harsh and unmanageable at times… it ached in my chest and made me feel sick… my Miss was of huge proportions. I headed over to his garden first thing and in the sunlight it looked beautiful.. i could feel the sun on my back and the bulbs were growing in his garden and you could smell Spring approaching in the air… but it was there.. my MISS and my eyes filled with tears and I cried silent tears and they fell on his grass. I don’t know where he is, I don’t know where he’s gone.. I just know that this is so very final and it really really hurts…. Despite this, I am / we are driven to making Reuben’s Retreat a reality… for families to build memories, as we have been lucky enough to do and for Mummy’s Daddy’s Brother’s and Sister’s to be supported, should they ever feel a MISS like this… Reuben’s Retreat will be a place to “Relax, Recharge, Remember and Rebuild”… My remembering is bittersweet and I am busy with my rebuild.. my rebuild may remain for the rest of my life now… a life without Reuben, sad for Loss and Miss but so much better for having had him in it.. for so very many…….. xxxx Forever, Mummy xxxx

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title="" rel=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>