Because Reuben was so poorly, we stayed on the ward. Until the Monday night, the 20th August 2012, when we were given the option to move into CLIC house. CLIC Sargent house provides a home for families in our condition for months on end. We were given a 5 bedded room in a stunning Georgian house just minutes from the hospital, it was cosy and warm and a safe haven for families. We met lots of different families with their own stories and it was inspirational. This is where in time Mike can boast that he shared a room with 4 women, although it’s not quite the road trip he would have planned.
CLIC was to be a real turning point for us and probably the biggest building block of our 6 day journey so far…. CLIC were incredible and really looked after us and we have a lot to be thankful for…..
As we start to draw a close to our days, I have this to say…
If i had my time again, would i do anything different? NO. Would i have loved him more, cherished him more or done more with him, No, would i have still gone back to work and shared him with the lovely Sarah and her family, YES, would i have whisked him off to Disney or Lapland? NO. We cherished our boys every day, and crammed as much into their loving lives as possible. I waited a long time for my family and adore my boys as much as the next Mummy. I didn’t need a wakeup call, after recent traumatic events over the last few months i knew, as i always had, how very precious life was and how much we enjoyed it……..
We were nearly heading home with Isaac… we just had one very very important thing to do, and that was to make Reuben’s last day on our earthly plain as special as it could possibly be.
Today has been a “profound” day… a day of very mixed emotions… I worked with Ali and we had lots of lovely visitors, including my gorgeous bridesmaids, Sarah, Molly & lily, each with their own tales of Reuben and their own patented song “Reuben, the Cuban, Diddly euban, von stuben”…………..
Oh how our MISS is so BIG……
James the vicar has called to finalise Reuben’s memorial at the weekend.
Tonight, as Isaac is on his way home from Blackpool with Nannie, I have cooked Mike a lovely steak and he has opened a bottle of red given to him by the Gentleman that is Oz Clarke, for his 40th birthday.. its lovely and Mike said a few words, as he wanted to mark the end of an era… he said some lovely things about our future tarred with Misssss…………
and then this popped into my inbox…
“Hi Nic, sorry I won’t be able to attend on Sat. At Hill Top tomorrow we are serving the children sausage & mash for lunch, making cakes to send home with all of the children (with the text campaign details) and at 2:30 we will be releasing balloons in the garden with messages from staff and pictures from the children …… sending lots of love to Reuben. So look up at the sky at 2:30 and hopefully you will see a beautiful sight! Lots of love to you all xxx”
How thoughtful and wonderful people can be… as my heart pounds with such sadness and loss, and then I am lifted by the wonder that is pure kindness of human spirit… thank you Hilltop !!!! Thank You all !!!!!
Missing you more than words can type, sweet darling darling Reuben
Mummy, Daddy & Isaac bombisac tiddly isak pompisak ( to the same tune as Reuben the Cuban….)