21 October – A MISS like nothing else on earth

21 October – A MISS like nothing else on earth

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My anxiety is getting more persistent lately. Sometimes I find it difficult to swallow even. My breath is shallow and I have a constant ache in my heart. My stomach is like a washing machine and I have a constant sickly feeling. I have a permanent worry lately that something dreadful is going to happen. I have the shakes occasionally, palpitations and sometimes I feel like me legs are going to be knocked from underneath me.
There’s no rhyme or reason, no trigger, no anniversary, no behaviour to any of it.
Its just grief. A MISS like nothing else on earth. The MISS of my little boy no longer being here and living and breathing and laughing and chatting and being his funny ickle self………
Oh how I miss my Reuben the Cuban
Im rolling with it, until it eases again… with the tides… the minutes.. the hours…. the days…..
My MISS, my unfortunate companion for life
ps; after typing and seeing a lovely message from a supporter on our RR page. I just clocked the date…. I had no idea what date it was… you lose track of dates in this abyss…. maybe there was my reason? maybe there was one after all…. Thank you Eve x

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