4th July – Oh Reuben… How i wish you were here to drive me BonKERRRRS

4th July – Oh Reuben… How i wish you were here to drive me BonKERRRRS

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I “flip it” constantly… things are always worse for someone else, At least it was Cancer and nobody hurt him, negligence didn’t take my boy, at least we got to be a family of 4 and some can only dream of that, at least we got to do so very much with him, at least we enjoyed him, at least we shared him, at least we got 23 months as some parents dont get 23 days……
But some days, some godawful days, the heartache and MISS is just so overwhelming that flippin it just doesn’t flippin work….
The world keeps spinning and life keeps living and you cant hide the tears and the hurt, the pain and the loss……
Today is one of those and yesterday was and maybe tomorrow will be too…..
I have a lot to be thankful for, but some days I just cant fight the sadness and I know I have to embrace it…… and its LOVE and where would we be without love…..
I just want to smell you Reuben, to touch you, to squeeze your chunky legs and raspberry your chunky belly… I want to hear you say “chips and toast” and I want to hear your lovely manners as you cant quite say please it comes out as “pyease” and I want to hear you shout Isaac like a Russian… and the thing is… you wouldn’t be doing those things now as you would be coming up to big boy 3 and you would be in your bed, you would be out of nappies, you would be talking a whole load better and you would be scrapping with your Brother and driving me bonkers….
Oh Reuben… How i wish you were here to drive me BonKERRRRS….
We all MISSSSSS you so very much
xxxx

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