7 Nov – I have had a few ‘weepy’ days

7 Nov – I have had a few ‘weepy’ days

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I have had a few “weepy” days culminating into a couple of very dark days…. Sometimes my “tears” tank gets too full …… It’s painful, its raw, its ugly and its frightening…. It is grief… It is what it is…
Without prior warning, rhyme or reason, no trigger required, it can blind side you and knock you for six….
It’s still there, it’s heavy…… it’s oppressive… it lurks with every breath I take and with every beat of my broken heart.
My anxiety is high, my tummy churns, my head hurts and my heart aches….
It aches for his smell, his voice, his chunky cuddles tight round my neck, his love, his kisses and more, so so so much more….
For the future we had a lost. For the Brotherly love. For the fun, the laughter, the plans….
For the first time in 26 months I am going to listen, take note, and lay low… and wait for it to lift… roll with it and hope it doesn’t last too long…..
My heart goes out to every parent that knows this pain, that walks this path, and that faces the uncertainty that this may happen….

Forever loved and Forever missed my darling darling boy


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