Feeling out of sorts

Feeling out of sorts

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Feeling a bit out of sorts, behind on list of things to do… Im dipping out of Xmas this year a bit. I am normally all organised by now and all ready to clean the house for the arrival of the family.. but im a bit behind this year. Truth be told, apart from sorting out the Ladies in our family with their special gifts, ive done nothing else, except send cards. So i must apologise, as I have not bought for friends or their lovely children this year, as Im just going to float through the next couple of weeks and see what each hour brings. December is a huge month for us anyway, with lots of hurdles… as we celebrated my Dad, StepDad and nephew’s birthdays, we also have to come Mike’s Gran on Xmas eve, me on the 29th and Isaac on New Year’s eve, as he turns 5 and he wants a party. Isaac will have a great time throughout and if I need to “ball me eyes out” I will take myself away… if i just have warm wet leaky eyes, Isaac can see this and I am not frightened to let him see some of my feelings at Xmas. He will not understand the true extent though . As much as we are open, we also reserve some moments for private. A lot of friends ask about him. He is doing just great. Apart from being tucked up in bed now with a tickly cough and a pretty bad case of tonsitilits, he is on antibiotics and i hope he has a good night, as we are due at Ashleigh’s wedding for 1pm on Friday??? Yikes !!!! come on Reuben work your magic. Isaac is a joy to be around. He is quick witted, bright and really happy soul. He misses his Brother, but we have been open with him from the very start. He was able to come by the hospital to visit 3 times whilst Reuben was in Bristol and when the collective decision was made, Isaac was asked clearly by me did he want to come and kiss his Brother Goodbye, as he was going to move to heaven. Isaac was then a firm part of our plans for Reuben’s goodbye party and he chose his own outfit, which was spiderman. We had doves at the burial which was Isaac’s message to heaven from Reuben. The only thing he didn’t know, was that Reuben’s body was in the box, we had wooden letters spelling REUBEN TOYS down the side of the coffin. His school are great and his teachers, head teacher and Vicar are all looking out for him. He speaks openly about Rueben and misses him, but he lives for today and not yesterday or tomorrow. His needs will change as he grows and we will adapt to them accordingly. One day at a time, as this is our forever future…. a quarter of our family missing, a big whole in our hearts…. but we still have bright futures, Isaac has the brightest and we will ensure it is a HAPPY one xxxx Mummy ps; I love this photo, Reuben was just a few weeks old and Isaac absolutely LOVED having him around from the very beginning, this photo sits on Reuben’s memory table xxx

One Response to “Feeling out of sorts”

  1. Alison

    Many thanks Neil for your kind words & support we really do appreciate it

    Reply

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