Supporting families who have suffered the loss of a child or have a child living with medical complexities

Supporting families who have suffered the loss of a child or have a child living with medical complexities

At Reuben’s we believe that it’s important to talk openly about loss. As part of #babylossawarenessweek we wanted to share Tracy’s story.

Tracy became a Trustee for Reuben’s Retreat in December 2019. Her experience in complex care and nursing has been a huge support to our charity and has helped to shape and evolve our family support services.

Please take a moment to read her story:

“My name is Tracy, I’m a mummy to three angels and a trustee at Reuben’s Retreat.

I wanted to share my journey as October is a month that we remember our lost Angels. It’s a month I love and hate in equal measures, where my favourite season starts. I love autumn colours and the cold fresh mornings. It’s been a joyous month, for it’s the month my husband and I married, and month in which my first boy was born all those years ago. But it’s also a month that brings agony, not every year, just some, no rhyme or reason, the pain just descends.

This is because its Brendan’s birthday on the 18th, he is 24 this year, or should be.

My second son, Andrew, is 23 this year, but never took a breath. October is the time I found out I was having a third child, (aka baby flump) but this baby never grew past Christmas.

Why am I sharing? I want those who are struggling with #miss to know that you can get through it. How do you survive after this amount of pain and loss? I decided to try to make a difference, because, well, some things just weren’t right in my journey. I became a children’s nurse to be an advocate for parents like me. So, when people ask why I’m so passionate about my job… that is why!

My journey and loss led me into the arms of Reuben’s Retreat, who helped me in my hour of need. In turn, I can now help others by supporting the amazing RR team.

Through my journey, I have learned to ride the waves of emotion and take the days as they come.

I let myself curl up in a ball away from the world at times, but when I’m happy – which is now more often, I enjoy myself. You see I’ve experienced the end of the world, but I fought through it and now I have so much to live for. But the love for ALL of my children will never wane.

Mia is my precious miracle, and I thank my hubby for riding the waves with me. I’m here for anyone who needs to talk”

Thank you, Tracy, for your honesty, bravery and support.

If you know a parent of loss who may need support then please let them know about the support services we offer.

For more information about the Baby Loss Awareness campaign, please find out more here. 

You can also find additional support services and information on our resources page.