21 August – We had lost a quarter of our dear family

21 August – We had lost a quarter of our dear family

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As our journey was coming to a close, we were about to embark on a new one.. nobody could have prepared us for it…………

Thank you to our family and friends for the hugs, cakes, cards, flowers, messages, kisses, ears, shoulders, tears, mails, profile pic changes, texts, words, support and LOVE this week, this year and the last two years……… you constantly LIFT us…. THANK YOU …

On Tuesday the 21st of August we were called in to a meeting with ICU, Nurses, Oncology and Palliative care. I couldn’t listen to anyone as the words palliative care whished around my head… palliative… palliative… this is it…this is it… we are nearing the end…. i was starting to feel some relief as i had now been grieving for my son for a week already.
The leading Doctor asked what our thoughts were on Reuben’s fight. Mike articulated and took the lead… Reuben had 4 major fights on his hands…
1) The Tumour – which was taking up half of his brain, it was aggressive, thoughts were it had only been there for a few wks maybe a couple of months and it was crushing his brain stem
2) Cardiac arrests – Reuben had suffered 2 major cardiac arrests
3) Multiple organ failure
4) Cancer – we had just found out the night before that the histology report had confirmed cancer and that it was one of 2 rare aggressive forms.
In isolation, i don’t doubt for one minute that our little fighter could have survived these, however collectively he didn’t even have a 1% chance.
The mutual decision was made that his fight was over and plans were made. They took their time with us to discuss Isaac and his needs and we decided to ask Isaac if he wanted to come down to say na night god bless to his baby Brother, which he did.
Close friends and Grandparents were there and everyone had their private time with Reuben. Isaac blew Goodbye kisses and Daddy got into bed with Reuben and read goodbye bedtime stories. Then the God Mummy’s collective washed him and put cream on him whilst i brushed his hair and put his pyjamas on.
We held a service with the chaplain and it was truly beautiful. The nurses got a settee in the room for me to sit on and Reuben was passed to Mummy’s aching arms. He curled up tight and whilst the chaplain lay her hands on his sweet head and silently prayed, our darling precious wonderful boy fell asleep in my arms. Peace at last. Everybody left the room and i had some quiet time with my gorgeous Reuben. The past few weeks Reuben had excelled in cuddling and he gave some really good squeezes. At that moment, like many others that week, i would have given my own life to get his back and nothing seemed fair or real. As i lay him on the bed i kissed his beautiful blonde hair and his darling cheeks and promised him that none of this would be in vain. That a legacy would live on in his name and that his memory would last forever.
We all headed home. We had left Mottram as a family of 4 for a bright sunny holiday and Devon and we were returning a family of 3. We had lost a quarter of our dear family

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